Sometimes

I was feeling kind of bummed out the other night, so I got in my car ad got some Ben & Jerry's ice cream. Mudslide is the best, just for future reference. I drove around after I got it, and blasted some good music, and listened to the rain. I imagine the rain being snow. It would have been a blizzard.
I pulled up and parked in front of my house, and focused in on the car in front of me. It was an Oldsmobile. On the back of the car, it said his last name. I don't know if it was that particular kind of Oldsmobile, or if it was the name of the place they got it from, but it was there. Maybe it was a sign. Maybe it was a coincidence. But it was there.
I've sort of been feeling bummed out a lot lately. The winter is coming, so I should have prepared myself for this, but how can you prepare your mind? Each new reason to hold back even an ounce of optimism causes anguish within me. Why? Just why? I keep asking that question like a six year old that wants to know everything about the world. Well guess what, inner six year old? You may never get all the answers. Life is the best at the game of silence.
Sometimes my my makes me so mad I can't even stand it. But then she'll do this martyr thing where she makes you feel bad about being mad .I know life is too short to be upset with anyone, but that doesn't mask the fact that I am.
Sometimes people disappoint me when they say they'll do something, but they don't. If I give you the opportunity to turn back and change your mind, do it. Don't say you will, and leave me stranded like a cactus in a desert. Sure, cacti belong there, but that doesn't mean they don't need to depend on anything else.
Sometimes I wonder why people have to get bacterial flesh eating viruses when all they want is one more god damn Christmas. Damn it.
Sometimes I can't wrap my brain around why the Government makes you their slave, and then won't pay for your hospital visit. Everyone is left to their own devices when they're stuck in the middle, not enough, yet slightly too much.
Sometimes I sing and sing, because it's one of the only things that takes my mind on vacation.
Sometimes I sit in my car before I go in the house, and just sit there, because getting out means facing the world.
Sometimes I wonder why people can turn out their light and go to sleep, and not know about the girl sitting outside in her car.
Sometimes I eat pie to try to feel better. A lot of it.
Sometimes I just want to catch a break, but I've lost my mitt and my fingers are breaking. They're breaking.
Sometimes I want to go off and live on the beach for the rest of my life. Find me a Wilson, buy me a surf board, and eat pineapple.
A lot of sometimes can equal all the time. I better be careful.